Mrs. Kuripot

Mrs. Tanoy is very kuripot. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary.

The ad taker said: “300 pesos for 5 words.”

She said: “Pwede ba 2 words lang?” “Tanoy dead”

Ad taker: “No mam. 5 words is the minimum.”

After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: “Ok, para sulit, ilagay mo,”TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE ”

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GRADUATION SPEECH NI INDAY

A fleasance afternoon to all, to me, to you, we, they and everyone.

Tonight, I am graduation, and i am froud of me.

I invitation you all to eat our house because i know someday that I will eat your house too.

I will die 10 chickens, 7 girls and 3 boys t eat you all and I will ask my father to cook my mother.

I'm suring you will come because i'm graduation. thank you


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EXCUSE

Lolo: Apo, magtago ka na, anjan na titser mo, alam niyang umabsent ka ngayon di ba?

Apo: Lo, magtago ka na rin kasi dinahilan kong patay ka na kaya ako umabsent


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PARROT

PARROT: Pag hinila mo itong kaliwa kong paa, kakanta ako. Kapag kanan, tutula naman ako.

BOY: Wow! Ang galing naman... eh, paano kapag sabay ko hinila paa mo?

PARROT: eh Di mahuhulog ako!!! Halerrrrr!



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3 tanga

3 tanga ang nagsisiksikan sa maliit na kama...

Tanga 1: Pare, hindi tayo kasya. Bawas tayo ng isa. Sa lapag na lang matulog.

(Bumaba si Tanga 3)

Tanga 2: Ayan, pare maluwag na. Akyat ka na dito.



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"Facelift"

Pasyente:  Magkano ang Facelift?
Doktora:  Complete Treatment ay P145,000
Pasyente:  Mahal!!! ano ba ang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata?
Doktora:   Eto Tsupon, P20 lang.




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